Tickle Your Funny Bone

Hi, Lena Smalls. Great to meet you. I'm just so grateful that you're having me here today. I've always wanted to audition for this club. I just, I can't wait. I'm so excited I could throw up. But yeah, um, how many shows have I done so far? Um, I've done like three or four at a few of the like smaller pubs. The hecklers there, you know, they throw a lot of the calamari at me. So it'd be nice to be somewhere, you know, a little bit more upbeat. I think your guys' crowds are always really good. I've seen so many people just do so well here. So I think I'll have a good shot But, yeah, I've been doing comedy for four years. You know, a lot of stuff on social media does well. In person, not so much. But I think it had to do with the way I was dressing because I was wearing the really big boxy suits. So I thought if I dressed it up a little bit, then people would be a little more pleased. Yeah? Okay, cool. Yeah, thanks. That's what I figured. Okay, well, would you like me to start? cool cool okay here we go um what's the difference between the USA and yogurt if you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll start developing culture yeah no that might be too political you're right you're right um what do you call a can opener that's broken? A can't opener? No, not your style? Okay, okay. Yeah, um, what's the, what's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple except for the rabbit. No, no, not hitting it. What do you, should I change up my style? Like, do you want me to be more misogynistic? I could like, you know, be really mean to woman. I'm sure there's some blonde jokes I can come up with, right? Okay, here's a good one, here's a good one. This will be great for depressed people. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality. Okay, yeah, no, totally. Okay, you know what? Maybe it's because I'm holding the notebook. It's a bit of a turnoff, right? I'll slide this down for everyone. Okay. Why don't dinosaurs talk? Huh? Because they're dead! No? Yeah, no, I know. I need to work on my material a little bit. I'm honestly just nervous because my mom said if I fail at this, she's gonna 5150 me. Um, okay, that's fine. You ever been to one of those? Okay, um... Um, you know what, do you think we could stop the laugh effects? I think that's maybe just throwing me off a little bit. It's so loud. Okay, cool. Thank you. Here, maybe. Can you hear me okay? Um. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Yeah, that. Because he's dyslexic. It would be funny, though, if he just walked into, like, a really big bra. I don't know. I think that would have to. What's the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? Oops! Because everyone would die. Okay. Okay, so you like that. um uh um 6-7 am I right I thought that would do really good with the youngins okay pause for pause I don't have anything else written in here um wait no there's um uh what do you call my ex-husband's new wife a fucking cunt I hate her Fuck you, Sheila Um, fuck, okay Um Oh, you know what? I just have Um, okay Um, um, um, um Um Uh How How do you make a man's neck Churned rubber With these I was thinking maybe like we could do like a 18 and up show where I do it topless like that would bring in well I know they're small but they're still boobs right I mean there's like a little bit of nipple at least you know this is pip that squeak I gotta bag you a shoeless for the feet guys um well I I can do I can do other stuff too like I'm just a little nervous and jittery and stuff for the for the for the audition I think if I could just get myself to loosen up a little bit and and then I I could you know give you the really hard hitters you know if you could just You could just give me another chance. I see you did kind of like my small boobs. It's like you've got a little tent in there. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense. No? Okay, well, why don't we maybe just loosen each other up a little bit and then, you know, maybe you'll be more relaxed, I'll be more relaxed, and it'll just, it'll be great. And then, and then I can try again and you'll give me a second chance. Does that work? I haven't done this in a couple of years. The divorce was pretty hard on me. Well, here goes nothing. Oh, there's something. Nice cog. Feel like I'm putting nice too far Whoa! Look at the creepy place and colonialism Right then I'll give you some poll chemistry Why am i sleeping? Right? You think if I suck your cock good enough I could headline one of the next shows? Thanks. This is the first good feedback I've had in a while. Oh my god. I love how thick it is. Oh my god, it's so good. Oh, my God. Oh my god. I like feeling you shake. I like getting it all nice and wet and spitty. Mmmmm. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, ah, ah. Mmm-hmm. Ooh, ooh. Ooh. Ah! Oh, my God, yeah. Oh, you like it like that, too? Yeah. oh my god it like feels as fucking hard as my hands oh my god that's a fucking cock am fire like Oh god it looks so fucking pretty. I wonder what it feels like inside me. Oh my god. You think I could just give it a ride? umm hmm Oh my god, yes. Oh, fuck. It's fucking hard. Oh my god. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Oh my god, yes. I feel good. Oh my god. Yes, yes, yes. Oh fuck. Yes, yes. I feel so good to eat like that. Fuck you. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck you. oh my god i fucking love it yes oh that's so fucking good oh my god yes oh yes yes yes yes fuck oh oh my god yes yes yes yes Oh my god. It feels so fucking dead. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Fuck. Oh, my God, I love how you fucking feel on me. You're like my tight little pussy arms wrapped around your cock. Oh, my fucking God, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, that's a man's fucking cock. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. roba Everyone von Shu Oh my god, that fucking cock is so good. You don't need to play with your balls while I ride it. Like that. And just... Just... Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, fuck.