The Hard Copy

Hello there. Thank you for joining me in my office. Happy Friday. So, oh no, this isn't about the spreadsheet. No, don't worry about that. We'll get to that later. This is actually about something else. Do you mind helping me out? Do you know what this is? You know what this is, right? It's a printer. It's a printer. You can print out emails, PDFs, anything you want on a computer or phone. Do you know who might have had access to my printer? No one at all? That's interesting. So this morning when I came in, I was about to, you know, make copies of the last document that we need to fill out for Mr. Tristan when I came in. I don't know if it was a mistake or a special report that I didn't sign off of. Or maybe, I guess you could call it art? I don't know. But do you mind telling me what this is, sir? Yes, it is a penis. Do you know who it might belong to? Well, I was assuming it belonged to you. Not you? That's funny, because there's, what, a dozen people in our office and every single one of them is a woman besides you. Yeah, strange. So, unless a robber came, decided to disalarm, you know, our very high-tech security alarm, and came into my office, I don't know, maybe at night or in the morning before I got here, and decided to use my personal printer to make a copy of his dick, then I don't know who else could do it besides you. Me! Do not insult me. I don't know. I feel like if you were to take responsibility, that would be best for you. Tell me more about this. Is it, is it the right size? I do, however, appreciate you changing the ink in my printer before scanning this. Yeah, the second picture is far better than the first. I mean, you can't even get the whole picture and it's kind of off-center. You don't get the veins as well as you do with this printer. So, it seems like we have a bit of an issue here. It's yours. No, no, no. No more back and forth about who it could be. It's definitely yours. Don't make me check. I think it's best I check because I have to make sure if I were to make a police report about someone that came in and tried to rob the place but ended up just taking a copy of his dick. You know what? Let's see. Stand up and take your pants off. Yes, I'm being very serious. I'd like to see the underside of your penis and see if it matches this image. So, well, you gonna take it out or what? I think we have to make sure that this is yours. Now, don't get too excited over here. This is just for our investigation as to who put their dick in my printer. I'm guessing you had to do this yourself. Yeah. Go ahead. Lay it right there. Oh, it looks like you already left your dick print on it. Ready? This is interesting. It was definitely a first. I mean, I never expected if we only hired one man he'd do something like this. So you had to wait this long for your dick to be printed out of this machine. So what, did you just come into my office earlier and just like laid that down and just waited, what, the minute it takes? You're an interesting guy. Hmm. No, but really, I do appreciate you taking initiative and changing my ink. I honestly hate doing that. Here it comes. Not like that. Hmm. Oh, there it is. Making a copy of your dick. Interesting. Oh, still scanning it. What are we gonna have to do with you? So what exactly was your purpose for this? Was it a little art project of yours? Was it for someone else? You know, people usually take dick pics with their phones. It's a lot easier, I promise, than squishing your dick in here. Well... What do you say? I think... These are identical. You ought to be glad that your dick is really nice. Otherwise, I'd be pretty pissed. Now, don't worry about your charm. We don't want to take you that far. Let me see. Oh, will you look at that! It looks exactly like the pictures. Hmm... Come here. Mm... If you wanted me to see your dick, you didn't have to put it in my printer. Mm... And you have, like, such a beautiful cock. I get it. I can see why you wanted to take pictures of it. But maybe next time, do it with a cell phone. Yeah, I'll... These pictures don't do it justice. Mm... The least you could have done was wipe your dick print off my printer. pheew hah mch nhrum gnm tp curry mm ah mm mch pff ah mm mch tp mm pff ah mch mm pff ah mch mm mch mm mch mm mch mm mch mm mh mm mh mm mh mm mh mm bait faint sigh laughing mm ah mm ah mm